Winning the Food Wars

It seems like food has always been an issue at our house.

Saying I am the mother to two willful sons is putting it mildly. And as there are two of them (twins), there's the being outnumbered thing, too.

Back when they were babies, they let it be known that they wanted nothing to do with being spoon-fed the usual baby food mush~ they wanted to feed themselves. So I developed a pancake/waffle recipe using whole grains, fresh eggs and milk, and a fruit puree of some sort~ usually applesauce or smooshed peaches. And that was great. I wasn't worried about them getting enough nutrients in their food, considering those pancakes *the* perfect food, and they could feed themselves the little pieces that I would cut it into. Dry. No syrup. In fact, I have yet to see my now-17-year-olds dip *anything* into *any* sort of sauce. Their french fries have never even gotten close to the ketchup. But I digress....

Did I mention my husband is a straight-up carnivore? Okay, he's really an omnivore, but seeing him sit down happily with a plate of nothing but BBQ ribs is not out of the ordinary. And I'm a pescatarian (that's a vegetarian who eats seafood). I quit eating meat 6 1/2 years ago and am happy with my food choices ~ but it has made for some challenging times as far as feeding my family goes. Also, just for the record, I'm the sort who is happy making a big dish of something ~ casserole, enchiladas, mac and cheese, spaghetti ~ and eating it all week for dinner. My husband and boys are not.

About a year ago, I noticed that at dinnertime we'd all be sort of at a loss. I was happy with leftovers, but my three guys were going for fast food about three times a week! I was concerned not only about the cost, but also the nutritional value of said fast food. My husband wasn't happy, feeling the burden of having to feed the three of them most nights, but I wasn't going to cook them something separate, either. I'll occasionally make them something with meat in it, altho it's not my usual modus operandi, and they don't *like* a lot of what I make for myself.

As my sons have grown older, I've been conscious of making sure they are /not/ growing into the kind of men who have never run a dishwasher or washing machine; who know nothing about planning a meal, shopping for it, and preparing it; even sewing and money management. I call them 'life lessons', and we actually have 'sewing class', etc. Also, with the economy the way it is, they have been unable to find jobs, and I'm thinking they may be living with us for several more years.

So when they turned 17 last March, I wanted them to take on more of an 'adult' role in our home. And the fast food thing was really getting on my nerves. I came up with (IMNSHO) a most brilliant plan. I thought it out, 'pitched' it to my family, and it's been an unqualified success. Here's how it works...

There are four of us. We each chose one night, Monday through Thursday ~ figuring weekends everyone is doing their own thing more, coming and going ~ plus my husband and I are happy to occasionally cook together, and weekends are when we tend to do that.

One night per week each of us is responsible for 1) planning the meal; 2) making sure the food to make this meal is in the house (we usually go to the grocery store once a week and we pass around the shopping list and everyone has to plan ahead, checking to see that what they need is on the list); 3) setting the table and preparing the meal; and 4) cleaning-up afterward. I thought about splitting the cleaning up part of it, having someone other than the one who cooks doing the clean up, but then thought that when they are cleaning up after themselves, they will be more likely to tidy as they go and make less of a mess generally.

And it's been great. I think the real 'selling point' was this: Three nights a week we are called in to dinner, where we sit down, eat, say thank you, get up and go back to what we were doing :-) Oh, and this has been instrumental in it's success, too ~ the dinner any of us makes has to satisfy *three* of us. That way I'm not feeding them "weird" (in their words) vegetarian stuff, and they are free to make dinners with meat, because I'm happy enough fending for myself.

That's it. Now we eat home-cooked food for dinner throughout the 'work week', and three nights out of four, all any of us have to do is 'show up'. Oh, and when we have a family dinner to attend ~ we tend to meet for pizza for our numerous extended family members' birthdays ~ well, the person whose night it is gets the night off. No 'carrying it to the next night'. If someone's birthday falls on Tuesday, then the person who has Tuesdays is off the hook! Figure it will all work out evenly in the end.

It's taken the smallest amount of effort on my part to keep it going. Making sure the kids think about what they're going to make, and have them check the freezer/ fridge/ pantry to make sure their ingredients are there or on the grocery list, and then an occasional asking of, "What's for dinner tonight?" long about 5:30/6:00.

The boys have taken pride in learning to prepare different dishes. One of them wanted to perfect hamburgers on the outside grill, so week after week he'd make hamburgers (and a veggie burger for me). The other makes the best grilled cheese sandwiches. Not exactly gourmet, but warm and satisfying, bolstering not only their confidence in the kitchen, but assuring me that I am raising self-sufficient young men. What more could a mother ask?